Thursday, October 12, 2006


Regular readers of my blog may have guessed (and they would be right) that I have a rich inner life. I was just pondering that today. I don't know if I think more than other people, or think harder than other people, or what. I do know that it seems like I'm thinking all the time, that I seem to be aware that I'm thinking all the time, and that I often find my own thoughts quite entertaining, going so far as to laugh out loud at something I have thought to myself. How embarrassing. But, back to Guinness.

Guinness is my new alter ego. When people find out about Guinness, their first question to me (after they quit looking at me funny) is "Why?"

This summer, I was feeling a little blue. I decided that what I needed to do to snap out of it was inject a little playfulness in my life. And I needed something non-fattening and cheap. So, eating caviar out of the old man's navel was out.

Instead, I played a game called "If I could change my name, what would I change it to?" If you're being honest, you will admit that you've played it, too.

I have to say that thinking on this question entertained me for quite a while and did distract me from what was bothering me. After considering and discarding a number of possible new names, I finally hit upon one that I thought I could live with: Guinness.

I called my sisters immediately and announced that they should begin calling me Guinness forthwith. I taught my little nephews to call me "Aunt Guinness." I began signing off my e-mails with my new name. Most of my birthday presents this year were addressed to "Guinness." Even a co-worker calls me Guinness. I have a baseball cap (courtesy of my sister Monte) that says Guinness. Call me Guinness and I will answer.

People often ask me why I chose the name Guinness. I like it because it's a strong name and a fun name. It sounds old-fashioned and new-fashioned at the same time. It's associated with sin (well, beer anyway) and sainthood (Os Guinness, theologian). It's an Everyman (or Everywoman) kind of name.

The only person who refuses to call me Guinness is the old man. He is adamant about this. No amount of cajoling on my part can get him to budge, although he did acquiese on my birthday and on my birthday only. Even pointing out that my computer's new desktop sports a graphic that reads "Now Enjoy Guinness Anywhere" has not convinced him that he should address me by my new moniker. His loss.


llgp said...

I'm saving up for a navel-sized portion of some good beluga.
The Old Man

moira said...

you go, girl! ER..excuse me...Guiness, Queen of the Universe. You may call me moira.